Today Is Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May you have a Christmas away from Patrick Manning. You may be wondering how I know it is Christmas. The answer is right here.

Greetings from the U.K

I am here in the U.K where I am glad to say I am very far from that greasy handed Prime Minister of yours. I was relaxing here with Oma thinking how big Mikela, Vasstala, Ncola and Niala have gotten. I also wondered where the hell Vastala, Nicola and Niala came from. Mikela is the only one following her father into politics, so I guess the others are easy to forget.

I should really be wishing you a Merry Christmas, but honestly, let’s just hope you make it out alive.

I Still Want To Know!

Do the police have the necessary resources to continue their job? If they are to continue as they are I would expect some measures to be put in place:

•  Contract with Donut Boys to allow for more types of doughnuts to be delivered to stations
• Nicer chairs for police to sit on all day
• More dilapidated stations for officers to have an excuse for not working 5% of the time

I could think of more, but I have a meeting with Ramesh now, we’re going to try to pull one more stunt before the year is over.

Fracas Pitear

Just in case you didn’t believe me about the whole Church’s chicken thing, Ramesh said someone gave him this camera-phone pitear. I think it is all very clear, it even shows me after I picked up a cup off the floor. I care about the environment, you know. Al Gore and I play checkers online.

Also, the story has gone international.

Chicken Grease Fracas

Listen, I know there is a lot of murmur going around because of this article in The Express. Let me just say that I can explain everything. It’s quite simple, really. First, let me say that I find it totally unfair that people aim to just attack me over and over because of one or two incidents that may have taken place in the past. The media should get the full story and not just print based on what they see clear as day, regardless of what my character seems to be, to you.

First, let’s address this:

one saw the Prime Minister volunteering to go across the floor to extend the hand of friendship to all UNC MPs, while on the other one witnessed the Opposition Leader turning away before reluctantly accepting the PM’s extended hand and immediately using his handkerchief to wipe his hands clean, literally and metaphorically, of any involvement or association with Manning and his administration.

Now, don’t you think I would have a totally valid reason for doing this? Open your eyes, people! In the cafeteria we were hanging out before the bell rang for parliament and Patrick came in all show-offy with some big cardboard boxes. Inside were boxes of Church’s Chicken which Patrick bought for everyone in the PNM and none for the UNC. While they were finishing up eating, the bell rang and everyone made their way in, but guess what – NOBODY washed their hands. You expect us to shake hands with people whose hands are greasy from fried chicken and lovely smelling biscuits? I think not!(Those biscuits were smelling good, man.)

The second thing to address is this little ditty:

Sinanan rose, ordering both men to sit as he declared in a stern voice: “Gentlemen, I am on my feet.” Both men sat but Basdeo Panday shouted back defiantly: “You are on your feet, so what?”

So everyone has their arms up as though I am so disrespectful! You are the ones who should feel sad. If you were part of parliament you would know we have a running gag where the speaker is supposed to say “Simon says” but no such thing was done. Had he said “Simon says I am on my feet.” I would have remained quiet and you would not be talking about all of this over your morning coffee.

I’m still a bit angry I didn’t get one of those Church’s biscuits.

Mansion Maniac

Oh no, the emperor is in the mansion. I hear Hazel is hiring a team of gardeners to plant the bush of the PNM logo all throughout the yard. When Ramesh confronted Patrick about this, guess what his reaction was!?

And it goes without saying I am back. TSTT’s Blinking service has been horrid. Ramesh! Get on that! Worst tech support ever!

Skin Head

 

Oh, you thought I was lying about him having no part? Shame. I never lie, you know. That you know of.

Ramesh And The Crime Crusade

I’ve been resting quite a lot lately. There has not been much TV to watch what with the writer’s strike.

I’ve taken to listening to music, and I must say I love that new Curtis CD. How many videos did 50 Cent actually put out? Madness, I tell you. He has videos for Straight to the Bank, Amusement Park, I get money, Follow my lead, Ayo Technology and I still will. 6 videos. Some people don’t even get that many videos off 2 albums! But I digress…

Ramesh is on his crusade. We were talking about it the other day and he told me he was annoyed that people were not talking about him really, in the news. This annoyed him terribly. So he came up with some march and protest.

Maharaj told the small crowd of villagers gathered underneath a resident’s home that if the Government is not acting, then he will go to the courts to compel the Government to act.

The thing people don’t understand is that  it is very important for your Government to be diverse in what they do. Since the fall of Yangatang/Maljo Kaiso, there have not really been many venues for the government to act. Perhaps they should approach Synergy TV? Peter C. Lewis knows a few things about acting important, they could get advice from him. If it’s one thing the UNC-Alliance knows is how to act. Remember those commercials with Jack and myself where we looked like we cared about people and the isuues and all that BS? Acting.

He continued, “Radical action is needed to deal with radical problems.”

This news has a double meaning, actually. While it won’t be announced for some time, my blog readers are first to find out that the UNC-Alliance has entered a partnership with RADICAL DESIGNS!

Maharaj told the gathering that he is organising a march from Tabaquite to Chaguanas to Port-of-Spain for seven days, from January 18 to 25, adding that he will sleep wherever he has to during the march. The march is in protest of rising crime levels in the Tabaquite constituency and all citizens are encouraged to take part.

Of course, Ramesh will be home most of the time, and when he there he will be in the backsteat of a car. Don’t worry, when he’s home he’ll be on the phone with someone actually walking. Yes, we are willing to spend that kind of money to pretend to be with people walking in the hot sun for no reason at all. That and we are putting bmobile’s My Lime to good use, Ramesh really wants a Playstation 3 and he needs the Bells to enter the competition.

I asked Ramesh if he thought anyone would figure out that was the real reason for all of this, so he could have an excuse to call someone to get Bells, to win a Playstation 3 and he said not to worry, so I am taking his word on it.

What have I missed that you would like my infinite wisdom on?

Patrick Is A Lying Liar

I don’t know why people let this man go on and on with his lies. Look at the Newsday headline. ‘I have done my part

What a load! I know for a fact Patrick doesn’t do his own hair. Not only that, he doesn’t even have a part. He has a mini-fro if anything.

Education?

Pay more attention to me!