Now I’m Banned From Parliament?

Well, look at this. Yesterday I made an attempt to perform my duty and represent the people of the country that I love when I was stopped by Senior Superintendent Lopez. We had a bit of an exchange as The Express reports:

“The suspension was for one day, so I come to do my duty and I don’t know who’s stopping me from entering the Parliament…is it the Speaker? Did the Speaker order you to arrest me if I come here?”

The officer, in a very soft and almost inaudible tone, said: “Yes Sir, the Speaker has said to restrain you from coming.”

Panday shot back, “Restrain me physically, with force and violence and that kind of thing.”

“No violence Sir,” the officer immediately replied as Panday quipped , “How could you use force without violence?”

Trying his best to control the situation the officer told Panday, “I know you are a man of wisdom.”

Panday replied: “Anyway, anyway…this is not your fault, I am not quarrelling with you, I assure you of that, OK.

“I am here to do my duty because I received no communication from anybody and I presume that I was right to be here, if however you say you are instructed by the Speaker not to let me in, I will comply with your wish.”

“You have your duty to do and I have mine,” he continued as he asked the officer, “May I ask your name please sir..because I am going to have to swear to [an] affidavit”.

Panday explained that if the Opposition takes legal action against the Speaker, the entire controversy will have to be documented.

The officer gave his name as Senior Superintendent Lopez as Panday continued, “Thank you kindly and can you tell me when he (Speaker) instructed you.”

Lopez said he was given notice on Thursday by Sinanan to block Panday from entering the House and told Panday, “I appreciate your cooperation”.

“My pleasure, my pleasure,” responded Panday.

So it occurs to me that the PNM really has it out for me this time. Barendra Sinanan must have really gotten his palms greased with some oil money to go along with this one. The media was in my face so I figured why not tell everyone what the PNM is all about – I might as well, Ramesh and I have an ongoing bet to see who can get the most press coverage for the year. As I am about to tell the media how it is all a big conspiracy, the unthinkable happens.

“Mr Panday! Mr Panday! That is a lie! It is not a conspiracy! You lie!” shouted the unidentified man.

The man was restrained by some Charlotte Street vendors who told him to shut up and behave.

He refused to listen and proceeded to shout and yell and verbally attack Panday, pushing media personnel in the process.

“Just so! Just so! Let me have my say! Let me have my say!” shouted the man.

As the fracas heightened, Panday calmly said, “Alright, alright…I’m going home”.

He then gently made his way through the crowd and disappeared in a blink of an eye.

The bugger cut me off! I’ve been telling Oma we have to start doing like the royalty we are and have a veil or blanket of some sort over us when in public like Michael Jackson does with his children. (When I was discussing this with her one time, Jack was there and said that it would be a good idea if we all did it, especially since Ramesh’s face has been harder to look at lately what with the botched Botox job and all.)

Oh and I appreciate the media realising I was able to disappear in the blink of an eye – I figured since I would be banned from parliament (forget that I said I didn’t know, shh) I would take up magic.

Well, I better get some rest, I have to prepare for a meeting with those vendors (do I know how to take advantage of a situation or what?)

Wade Mark says he has a plan for next year (that’s political speak for “we have a year to think of something”). Got to love Wade, and all our members. Always thinking on our feet!

And The Laptop Debacle Goes On

DEPUTY SPEAKER Pennelope Beckles yesterday disclosed that Opposition Leader Basdeo Panday had been warned before last Friday’s sitting of the House of Representatives about not using a laptop computer during a sitting if he was not going to contribute to the debate.

–Newsday Article

I don’t know why she has to be getting involved in all of this. Is someoneangry because we don’t like her album? Tell-tell baby! Walla walla dumping, take of your shoes and tell your Prime Minister something!

I Actually Agree With The PNM

I have a smile on my face reading about the COP not being allowed into parliament. I don’t even care about the reason, I’m just glad they did it. Oh, how I long to be home again to wreak havoc on them.

Mister Duck and Run then went on to say something about the COP only spending $12 million on the last election while the UNC-A and PNM spent $249 million. I’m not sure what the point he was trying to make was exactly. Perhaps that the COP is inadequate and should not be allowed to enter parliament? That seems like it.

Fracas Pitear

Just in case you didn’t believe me about the whole Church’s chicken thing, Ramesh said someone gave him this camera-phone pitear. I think it is all very clear, it even shows me after I picked up a cup off the floor. I care about the environment, you know. Al Gore and I play checkers online.

Also, the story has gone international.

Chicken Grease Fracas

Listen, I know there is a lot of murmur going around because of this article in The Express. Let me just say that I can explain everything. It’s quite simple, really. First, let me say that I find it totally unfair that people aim to just attack me over and over because of one or two incidents that may have taken place in the past. The media should get the full story and not just print based on what they see clear as day, regardless of what my character seems to be, to you.

First, let’s address this:

one saw the Prime Minister volunteering to go across the floor to extend the hand of friendship to all UNC MPs, while on the other one witnessed the Opposition Leader turning away before reluctantly accepting the PM’s extended hand and immediately using his handkerchief to wipe his hands clean, literally and metaphorically, of any involvement or association with Manning and his administration.

Now, don’t you think I would have a totally valid reason for doing this? Open your eyes, people! In the cafeteria we were hanging out before the bell rang for parliament and Patrick came in all show-offy with some big cardboard boxes. Inside were boxes of Church’s Chicken which Patrick bought for everyone in the PNM and none for the UNC. While they were finishing up eating, the bell rang and everyone made their way in, but guess what – NOBODY washed their hands. You expect us to shake hands with people whose hands are greasy from fried chicken and lovely smelling biscuits? I think not!(Those biscuits were smelling good, man.)

The second thing to address is this little ditty:

Sinanan rose, ordering both men to sit as he declared in a stern voice: “Gentlemen, I am on my feet.” Both men sat but Basdeo Panday shouted back defiantly: “You are on your feet, so what?”

So everyone has their arms up as though I am so disrespectful! You are the ones who should feel sad. If you were part of parliament you would know we have a running gag where the speaker is supposed to say “Simon says” but no such thing was done. Had he said “Simon says I am on my feet.” I would have remained quiet and you would not be talking about all of this over your morning coffee.

I’m still a bit angry I didn’t get one of those Church’s biscuits.