Tag Archives: basdeo panday

Backbenchwarmer

It is said every man who has been ostracized¬† in society is really a genius in disguise. While that was said by me, it doesn’t make it any less true. It has been a while since I last communicated with you all and I want you to know I am alive and well. Oma and I have taken to a few hobbies that had us off the computer altogether. We’ve been selling Avon as a side venture to help our financial situation. (If you need any foundation or concealer, do let me know. It’s perfect for getting rid of those worry lines when facing the heat in the court of law, might I add.)

Perhaps I should recap all of the things worth noting that have happened in my absense.

  • Michael Jackson Passed Away
  • World Economy Collapsed
  • Marlene McDonald put on a few
  • Tiger Woods
  • $2, 000, 000 flag
  • Arima to Port-of-Spain increased to $6
  • Detox still hasn’t come out
  • Avatar was a terrible movie

You readers are like the COP, think you are smart but don’t know a thing. Luckily I am here to guide you lost lambs like the good shepherd I am. What do you think all these things have in common?

That’s right. The PNM are directly or indirectly responsible for all these things. If you need me to explain why or how, then please refrain from reading my blog immediately.

As I have found myself in a position of having more time, I will go into why the PNM is continuing to ensure the downfall of our society. Believe me when I say it is no small feat to kick dust in the face of Trinidadians, by making them pay an exorbitant amount of money at $6 to travel to Movie Towne, only then to see the detritus that was Avatar?

As for my political career, it is no secret that “she” has taken up the reigns of my beloved party. And while my actions may confuse it is the few smart ones who read my blog, that will know and understand that while my actions may seem selfish and contrary to what I claim to stand for, it’s because I have sense of pride that I act the way I do.

Of course everyone wanted to talk about Calder Hart, and while exposing PNM corruption is in fact very near and dear to my heart, people have turned a blind eye to the real issues facing us: me not leading the UNC. Such a travesty is not something we should take lightly, and the revolution will be televised. The UNC has been a boat, that, yes, may not have held water when it came to trivial things like “integrity” and “public trust” but is no different than any other political party. I am the captain of the SS UNC, and like a good captain will be the last one on the boat as it sinks. Even if I have to sink it myself.

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Twitter Me This

Where to begin…
I suppose I should start off by saying where I have been gone all this time. Three words: World of Warcraft. I know, you didn’t think the Silver Fox had the time to be raiding with the UNC guild, but you’re wrong. I was kicked out of Parliament after all. I think when I get reinstated I will have to move with one of those Netbooks, like the Dell Mini 12 so when Patrick with those Coke-bottle frames wants to say anything I will simply claim it is a calculator. Anyway, moving right along.

So Patos is back with the blog and of course can’t stop talking about me. And forget dealing with this HCU situation (thank goodness Oma made me open that ScotiabankBE account) because Patos has to Twitter! Being the pioneer that I am, I already have my Twitter profile up and running and it has been active since last year.

This wajank had my Facebook profile removed, then comes to speak ill of me on Twitter. The poor soul believes the Twitter spam bots I have following him are real.

I also had to had the prefix “fake” to my name, for fear that Patrick does to my Twitter account what he did to my Facebook. I promise to update more often, I have received many emails, or an email with many letters, can’t remember which.

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Mylime and CAPE

I really must apologize for the lack of updates. Ever since I got back into the country I have been hooked on bMobile’s My Lime. I can call Ramesh and Jack and Kamla and even Dooks for free. Even better, I added Winston’s number without him knowing mine, so I keep sending him texts every few minutes. Nothing better than sending “ur party sux lolz” for free.

Now, on to this whole CXC and CAPE fiasco. I have never liked Barbados, where I think the Caribbean Examination Council is, if it isn’t pretend it is since I don’t know how to be wrong. I do not know what it is they are doing with the PNM Government over these leaks that ends up in horrible decisions being made.

How is it you can determine a leak cannot take place in more than one country? Is it that Barbados is so preoccupied with stealing flying fish and other plots that they don’t know about modern technology? Is Rihanna and Chris Brown.

If the exams are being cancelled they would obviously have to be cancelled for everyone, not just one country. Also, if both CAPE and CXC are handled in the same way and are the responisibility of the same body, both CAPE and CXC would have to be redone. Of course, not in a PNM world. So obviously Chris Brown is going to get a distinction in Chemistry when nobody thinks it’s possible to email scans of papers.

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Now I’m Banned From Parliament?

Me being sexyWell, look at this. Yesterday I made an attempt to perform my duty and represent the people of the country that I love when I was stopped by Senior Superintendent Lopez. We had a bit of an exchange as The Express reports:

“The suspension was for one day, so I come to do my duty and I don’t know who’s stopping me from entering the Parliament…is it the Speaker? Did the Speaker order you to arrest me if I come here?”

The officer, in a very soft and almost inaudible tone, said: “Yes Sir, the Speaker has said to restrain you from coming.”

Panday shot back, “Restrain me physically, with force and violence and that kind of thing.”

“No violence Sir,” the officer immediately replied as Panday quipped , “How could you use force without violence?”

Trying his best to control the situation the officer told Panday, “I know you are a man of wisdom.”

Panday replied: “Anyway, anyway…this is not your fault, I am not quarrelling with you, I assure you of that, OK.

“I am here to do my duty because I received no communication from anybody and I presume that I was right to be here, if however you say you are instructed by the Speaker not to let me in, I will comply with your wish.”

“You have your duty to do and I have mine,” he continued as he asked the officer, “May I ask your name please sir..because I am going to have to swear to [an] affidavit”.

Panday explained that if the Opposition takes legal action against the Speaker, the entire controversy will have to be documented.

The officer gave his name as Senior Superintendent Lopez as Panday continued, “Thank you kindly and can you tell me when he (Speaker) instructed you.”

Lopez said he was given notice on Thursday by Sinanan to block Panday from entering the House and told Panday, “I appreciate your cooperation”.

“My pleasure, my pleasure,” responded Panday.

So it occurs to me that the PNM really has it out for me this time. Barendra Sinanan must have really gotten his palms greased with some oil money to go along with this one. The media was in my face so I figured why not tell everyone what the PNM is all about – I might as well, Ramesh and I have an ongoing bet to see who can get the most press coverage for the year. As I am about to tell the media how it is all a big conspiracy, the unthinkable happens.

“Mr Panday! Mr Panday! That is a lie! It is not a conspiracy! You lie!” shouted the unidentified man.

The man was restrained by some Charlotte Street vendors who told him to shut up and behave.

He refused to listen and proceeded to shout and yell and verbally attack Panday, pushing media personnel in the process.

“Just so! Just so! Let me have my say! Let me have my say!” shouted the man.

As the fracas heightened, Panday calmly said, “Alright, alright…I’m going home”.

He then gently made his way through the crowd and disappeared in a blink of an eye.

The bugger cut me off! I’ve been telling Oma we have to start doing like the royalty we are and have a veil or blanket of some sort over us when in public like Michael Jackson does with his children. (When I was discussing this with her one time, Jack was there and said that it would be a good idea if we all did it, especially since Ramesh’s face has been harder to look at lately what with the botched Botox job and all.)

Oh and I appreciate the media realising I was able to disappear in the blink of an eye – I figured since I would be banned from parliament (forget that I said I didn’t know, shh) I would take up magic.

Well, I better get some rest, I have to prepare for a meeting with those vendors (do I know how to take advantage of a situation or what?)

Wade Mark says he has a plan for next year (that’s political speak for “we have a year to think of something”). Got to love Wade, and all our members. Always thinking on our feet!

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What Really Happened In South Africa

Well, I am back from South Africa. The trip was wonderful. It sometimes amazes me how we have the money to do all these ads, bring in foreign artistes, pay general campaign expenses and jet set to South Africa on a whim. Yes, I have some money coming that I managed to – ehm, save from when I was last in office, but Jack really came through. Jack’s pockets are as bottomless as Gillian Lucky is butch. Ramesh is not half the man Jack is.

As we touched down in Johannesburg that day, my hands firmly in Jack’s, I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed at the prospect of having Mr. Mandela over to Trinidad. He would be the winning piece to the puzzle enabling us to win the election. It’s all we needed. At the very least, I knew he would be much better than Sizzla. The meeting was a delight. Mr. Mandela complimented us much on what was going on in Trinidad. The overpass, the industrialization, etc. not to mention the football.

Interesting fact, he was overjoyed and very thankful I would put him in the banner for my blog. He said he wanted to start a blog of his own but figured he would observe me for a few more years before doing so. A wise choice that was, considering, without the proper training nobody would even know you had a blog. All the attention would just be on me. In case you forgot, Patrick Manning has a blog, not that you care.

When Jack started talking football, a perplexed look came upon the once exiled leader’s face. He couldn’t understand what he was saying and asked me if Jack was from the province of Limpopo where the education has been poor within recent years leading to the children raising themselves and relying on their own language consisting of grunts, the pelting of fecal matter and mimicking of noises picked up by the local animals. After informing him that Jack was with me and not on a humanitarian mission, I translated and Mr. Mandela was glad how things were coming along.

After a very verbose yet enjoyable discussion, Mr. Mandela begged us to take him to Trinidad to talk with all of you and tell you how the United National Congress Alliance would lead the way to a better T&T. But it was not to be.

I looked at Jack, giving me that twinkle in his eye that said to me we were thinking the same thing. “Mr. Mandela, I think it best if you stay here. Your ill health is more serious, but we will be more than happy to relay any messages you send to the people of Trinidad and Tobago.”

“I am concerned. I am very concerned.” chimed Jack, as we shook hands and ended our meeting.

Some tears were shed, but we did what we set out to do, discussed how we could bring unity to the people of Trinidad and Tobago. With one last plea to come with us, we left his excellency in high spirits.

With all this said and done, we would still like to bring in someone in the blog header. We are looking into the availability of actor Gerard Butler to come on the platform in costume.

It was a delight to chat with the myth, the legend, the man in my blog header, though a passing comment about liking Andrew Jennings sent shivers up Jack’s spine.

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