I think we need to have a meeting with Jack so he knows when is the right time to talk and when to be quiet.

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Now I’m Banned From Parliament?

Me being sexyWell, look at this. Yesterday I made an attempt to perform my duty and represent the people of the country that I love when I was stopped by Senior Superintendent Lopez. We had a bit of an exchange as The Express reports:

“The suspension was for one day, so I come to do my duty and I don’t know who’s stopping me from entering the Parliament…is it the Speaker? Did the Speaker order you to arrest me if I come here?”

The officer, in a very soft and almost inaudible tone, said: “Yes Sir, the Speaker has said to restrain you from coming.”

Panday shot back, “Restrain me physically, with force and violence and that kind of thing.”

“No violence Sir,” the officer immediately replied as Panday quipped , “How could you use force without violence?”

Trying his best to control the situation the officer told Panday, “I know you are a man of wisdom.”

Panday replied: “Anyway, anyway…this is not your fault, I am not quarrelling with you, I assure you of that, OK.

“I am here to do my duty because I received no communication from anybody and I presume that I was right to be here, if however you say you are instructed by the Speaker not to let me in, I will comply with your wish.”

“You have your duty to do and I have mine,” he continued as he asked the officer, “May I ask your name please sir..because I am going to have to swear to [an] affidavit”.

Panday explained that if the Opposition takes legal action against the Speaker, the entire controversy will have to be documented.

The officer gave his name as Senior Superintendent Lopez as Panday continued, “Thank you kindly and can you tell me when he (Speaker) instructed you.”

Lopez said he was given notice on Thursday by Sinanan to block Panday from entering the House and told Panday, “I appreciate your cooperation”.

“My pleasure, my pleasure,” responded Panday.

So it occurs to me that the PNM really has it out for me this time. Barendra Sinanan must have really gotten his palms greased with some oil money to go along with this one. The media was in my face so I figured why not tell everyone what the PNM is all about – I might as well, Ramesh and I have an ongoing bet to see who can get the most press coverage for the year. As I am about to tell the media how it is all a big conspiracy, the unthinkable happens.

“Mr Panday! Mr Panday! That is a lie! It is not a conspiracy! You lie!” shouted the unidentified man.

The man was restrained by some Charlotte Street vendors who told him to shut up and behave.

He refused to listen and proceeded to shout and yell and verbally attack Panday, pushing media personnel in the process.

“Just so! Just so! Let me have my say! Let me have my say!” shouted the man.

As the fracas heightened, Panday calmly said, “Alright, alright…I’m going home”.

He then gently made his way through the crowd and disappeared in a blink of an eye.

The bugger cut me off! I’ve been telling Oma we have to start doing like the royalty we are and have a veil or blanket of some sort over us when in public like Michael Jackson does with his children. (When I was discussing this with her one time, Jack was there and said that it would be a good idea if we all did it, especially since Ramesh’s face has been harder to look at lately what with the botched Botox job and all.)

Oh and I appreciate the media realising I was able to disappear in the blink of an eye – I figured since I would be banned from parliament (forget that I said I didn’t know, shh) I would take up magic.

Well, I better get some rest, I have to prepare for a meeting with those vendors (do I know how to take advantage of a situation or what?)

Wade Mark says he has a plan for next year (that’s political speak for “we have a year to think of something”). Got to love Wade, and all our members. Always thinking on our feet!

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And The Laptop Debacle Goes On

DEPUTY SPEAKER Pennelope Beckles yesterday disclosed that Opposition Leader Basdeo Panday had been warned before last Friday’s sitting of the House of Representatives about not using a laptop computer during a sitting if he was not going to contribute to the debate.

Newsday Article

I don’t know why she has to be getting involved in all of this. Is someoneangry because we don’t like her album? Tell-tell baby! Walla walla dumping, take of your shoes and tell your Prime Minister something!

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Laptop Injustice

I hope you all see what I go through for you. I had to go through a terrible ordeal in Parliament. You see, I was trying to go through my usual rounds on my laptop which was just recently fixed, hence my being quiet for quite a while. Patrick as we all know, stopped blogging because he realized I am and always will be better at him in any and everything.

I was on my usual sites, Bossip, Perezhilton, etc. when I was going to update my blog after so long. It turns out Patrick had it out for me. The setup was grand.

The PNM set up the whole thing to make me look bad. They had speaker Barry Sinanan first chastise Gary Hunt for using his laptop. The point was to make it look as though  nobody can use a laptop basically, so when I went about my merry way online they wanted to rest it on me like Akon did to Danah Alleyne in Zen when she went for “ice cream” that time.

But I was defiant.

Of course police had to get involved and whatnot and Ramesh knows as well as I that this is good publicity. We’re going to have a meeting to see how best we can spin this to make me out to look like Nelson Mandela again. I may have a lot more time for blogging since I may be out of parliament until December, though that can change.

The things I do for you.

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Jet Men

I suppose you are all up to your necks in news concerning this multi-million dollar jet that these ridiculous PNM members want to purchase. I think I have kept my silence long enough on the issue. First off, I think it is quite typical of the PNM to brazenly make purchases of this nature. The PNM government is all about spending. Spending, spending and more spending.

I recall when Kamla was the education minister she realized we had to build a lot of schools as we said we would in the budget. She then made it clear that we don’t need to spend as much as we said we would, so we built fewer schools than we said we would and look at us now!

I must admit, if I were to go down in a blaze of glory as I said I pleaded with you to I might be in a similar position as Patrick. I will be totally honest in saying that it is tough travelling about the world. There are arguments that Caribbean Airlines can carry you wherever you need to go, but there are problems with dealing with commercial flights. I see no problem with owning a jet but there are 2 things to consider.

Timing is the first thing. Now may not be the best time to make such a purchase. While it may save time, there really are a lot of things that can be done with this money, perhaps putting it in a London bank account? For the interest, of course. To give back to the country.

The second thing to consider is the type of jet. Raffique Shah says most flights that need to be taken will not even be very far so a cheaper jet may be suitable.

This would not be such a big problem if people voted for the UNC. Frugality is something we know. We would have spent as little as we could and put that money elsewhere, provided the integrity commission doesn’t find out.

But you voted for the PNM, the only jet I am concerned with is getting the high score in Jetman on Facebook.

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Barbados and Trinidad in Fishing Cahoots?

Barbados’ Prime Minister David Thompson and Patrick Manning are involved in things I do not want to talk about, but I must. During some talks on a new fishing agreement Thompson said:

 “Neither PM Manning nor I am responsible for where fish travel in the Caribbean and all our fishermen want to do is follow them.

This of course comes after Patrick said it would not be unreasonable to have a new agreement within a year. Listen to me: FORGET ALL THAT.

What is happening right under our noses is bigger than anything you, me or Ramesh knew about. Have you ever seen the movies Men in Black? (Oma brought them home years ago thinking they were pornographic.) After seeing these movies you will know exactly what it is these two hoodlums are up to: they’ve formed a secret society comprised of the two of them in which they use a neuralyzer to get other countries in the Caribbean to agree to whatever fishing agreements they want, meaning Trinidad and Barbados may go as they please in any waters and fish to their heart’s content.

neuralyzer.jpg

Actually, I’m hankering for some Dolphin right now, but this is a word to the wise in Trinidad and Barbados! Stay alert! And of course, I have the pitear to prove what I am saying.

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Legal Issues

My Lawyers suggested I stop blogging in case I say something that would wreck my chances of having this case thrown out. It’s nothing major, something about a parking ticket. Please do not worry, it is nothing that would tarnish my reputation. At any rate, I am back in this, I believe. Blogging. And it feels good. What will feel better is going through all the nonsense the PNM is doing and I cannot wait to rip into them.

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