News Clippings

I thought that in my infinite wisdom, I would give some thoughts on the various reports happening with the new publications. Not that it matters – when we come into power, all newspapers will be assimilated into one and will just provide a hard copy of my blog every day. On to the news.

  • The Hindu Council of The Caribbean says to vote for me, though you don’t have to. That’s similar to not watching Inshan on the television, you can watch if you want, but life then seems to lose some of its meaning.
  • The Caribbean Guyana Institute for Democracy (CGID) is not pleased with the UNC bringing Rev. Jesse Jackson to speak. Why? Because he is doing it for the money and knows nothing about the politics of the country? Since when is financial compensation trumped by ethics? Furthermore, Guyana, last time I checked, was part of the Caribbean, so I much rather not take advice from a group that cannot name themselves, otherwise my political party may be called the ‘United Together National Congress
  • The EBC is scrambling to fix a loophole that might mean people could bring cellphones into polling stations and take pictures of who they are voting for. Excellent, because nobody could tell who the person was voting for, what with their UNC-Alliance shirt, handkerchief and singing of our radio jingles while there.
  • Jack was a bit annoyed at Winston Dookeran over the attack about spending money. Where Jack gets the money that I do so enjoy spending is nobody’s business. That is between me, Jack and the integrity commission when they catch on.
  • Kamla was going on and on the other day about the EBC sending slips to people from Nigeria and whatnot, allowing them to vote. It was INFURIATING – she was out all day and made no roti.
  • Ramesh did some crap as usual, as of right now I don’t know if we are on speaking terms or what, it’s all very confusing. Is Team Unity in the race? Either way, I think those pictures I have of him will drop in a day.
  • We got approval for our helicopter to fly over for our rally. We’ll end the show with fireworks: 2 rockets will be fired at the blimp to trigger them.
  • Apparently it is hard out there for a PIMP.
  • I have placed a classified ad in the papers. “Urgently needed: priest to say good things about a political figure and that followers of Catholic religion should vote for him. Threatening congregation with violence if they do not comply is a probable request and applicant must be . Money is not an issue.”

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