I want to be frank and honest with you, as is the very character of my being. I don’t want to lie about houses in Germany or anything of the sort. You all know me to be an honest man and it is with that honesty I must talk to you like an emperor to his humble servants, about Jack. I know this may be hard to believe, but Jack has been less than clear when he speaks. This has been going on for some time, but I think it is something we have been able to keep under raps for the longest while.
Being the unstoppable force that we are, we can afford to be perfectly clear with the smallest of problems that we may have to overcome. I just want to let you in on what has been happening with this situation. Jack was a bit apprehensive when we told him about it. “Raba daba, babba dubba!” he proclaimed a few months ago when I told him about it.
“Jack, if you want to run the country, people have to understand what you are saying.” I told him. He did come around, though, and 2 months ago we started to take collection – a fund to help Jack learn to speak like a true politician. Coming from a sporting background there was no need to really speak. I would like to share with you a picture taken when we made good with those funds.
Las week, the UNC held a “Jack Day” where Jack put on a little show to show us how much he had learned over all that time. It was a smashing success. He won a trophy for being the “bestest speller named Jack in the UNC” and we also presented him with a special prize. I hope you understand that this is the government for you, the government that will let you into our internal affairs, and is willing to change the things that make us less than perfect. I will be giving you more updates on Jack in the future. Until then, be ready to be part of the Alliance on November 5th.